Category: On My Mind…

Fidgets in the Classroom: Why? What? How?

By Courtney Bills and Tera Robinson

We are right in the middle of the fidget spinner craze! The debates and rants have died down a bit because school is out for summer and no one has a problem if children are paying more attention to their fidget spinner than they are to their screens. Or the fidget spinners are inside while the kids are swimming, riding bikes and playing at the park. But… School starts soon and the discussion will surely fire back up! Hopefully, this post will help give some thought and good ideas to implement and help calm the craze, especially in our classrooms.

This time, I’ve teamed up with an amazing elementary teacher with 15 years of experience in classrooms, Courtney Bills. She has used fidgets in her classroom and gets everyday practice to implement sensory strategies into her teaching as she works with students, teachers and her own children who have sensory processing difficulties. We’ve collaborated together to help students and teachers for several years and she has some great ideas to successfully implement fidgets in classrooms. Courtney is going to share HOW she implements fidgets into her classroom at the end of this article.

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links as a convenient way to find products and tools recommended.

VIDEO: See Tera talk about fidgets in the classroom on FOX 13 The Place here.

WHY USE FIDGETS IN THE CLASSROOM? (by Tera)

A fidget is one of many tools that helps students self-regulate their attention, behavior and learning. Fidget spinner marketers have done a fabulous job in gaining the attention of the general public about something people have been doing for ages and that occupational therapists have been recommending for decades! You’ve already seen fidgets in many forms, even before the invention of the fidget spinner! Twirling hair, tapping fingers, bouncing knees, clicking pens, doodling…

Fidgets can help a person who is having difficulty paying attention, holding still, or behaving appropriately to seek out movement (vestibular), muscle (proprioceptive) and touch (tactile) sensory input that will keep them alert, attentive and maintain appropriate interactions during important daily activities. For students in a classroom, appropriate daily activities would include sitting still, paying attention, listening to the teacher, following directions, staying on task, completing work assignments and participating appropriately in classroom activities with others nearby.

Maybe you know a student or two or three… who may struggle with some of these appropriate classroom behaviors. Students with the following behaviors would benefit from using a fidget:

difficulty paying attention, listening and following directions
difficulty maintaining alertness (may exhibit “dazed” looks)
difficulty holding still or staying in his/her seat
difficulty keeping hands to her/himself and staying in his/her own space

WHAT FIDGETS WORK IN THE CLASSROOM? (by Tera)

The key to a successful classroom fidget is that it that works as a tool, not a toy. Each student will respond differently to different fidgets. I’ve seen a variety of fidgets work very successfully in classrooms, including simple fidget spinners for a student or two and fidget cubes for a few more, but the key is still that it is used as a tool, NOT a toy. Students have many other classroom tools such as pencils, crayons, scissors, paper, desks, chairs, books, computers, iPads… Teachers teach and maintain guidelines about appropriately using these classroom tools and not allowing them to become toys. (A few examples: A pencil is for writing, not sword fighting. Scissors are for cutting paper, not hair.) Teachers should also teach and maintain guidelines for classroom fidget tools. A successful fidget tool will not be the focus of a student’s attention, but will be used in the background with the focus of attention being given to the instruction, activities and learning in the classroom. Students should be able to answer questions, participate appropriately and not disturb others in the learning taking place while using the fidget. One reminder is that novelty will always create excitement, but once it is consistently used in the classroom, the excitement wears off. So if fidgets are used consistently in the classroom, they will become old news to many students and the ones who need them will keep coming back for them.

I really love this video that explains and gives guidelines on how to use fidgets in the classroom as a tool and not a toy: Long Story Shorts – Fidgets. Teachers and parents, show this to your students so they can learn how to use a fidget effectively to help them learn!

There are a few practical considerations to take into account when choosing fidgets for the classroom:

Price is important in a full classroom of young students. Expect that fidgets will be lost and need to be replaced, so I try to only buy fidgets that are about $3 or less.
The ability to use hands for learning activities is another important factor. Fidgets requiring two hands are fine for listening and discussion, but if a student is writing, at least one hand should be free to use a pencil. You can add a clip to tie to belt loops or a pencil topper fidget to avoid dropping or losing the fidget.
Simple and plain is best for classroom fidgets. Remember that fidgets should NOT be the focus of a student’s attention, so entertaining factors, such as stress balls with eyes that pop out when squeezing or bright, flashing lights or any noisy fidget, should be avoided in the classroom.

Several of my awesome teacher friends have helped me create a list of their most successful fidgets of the many that I’ve recommended in their classrooms over the past few years.

Nut & Bolt Pencil Toppers

Coil Bracelets

Scrubber Sponges

Yarn

Sticky Back Velcro Tape

HOW CAN FIDGETS BE USED SUCCESSFULLY IN THE CLASSROOM? (by Courtney)

Although many children can be taught in a traditional classroom without modifications, many children will find greater success with simple classroom adjustments. I have found that providing opportunities for children to discover their personal sensory needs enhances their learning, their motivation to learn, and their engagement in instruction.

I have learned a few things over the years in using fidgets and other sensory strategies in my classroom: (Although this article is specific for fidgets, all points in this section can be applied to any sensory strategy, such as seating options and brain breaks, used in the classroom.)

All fidgets should be taught with procedures and purpose just like turning in an assignment, sharpening pencils or lining up. You can eliminate almost all misuse of fidgets with proper training and procedures.
Provide more fidgets than children. Only a handful of children will “need” a fidget during carpet time, but if all children have the option, no one feels different or singled out.
Don’t use fidgets as a punishment for not being able to sit still or poor behavior.
Don’t take away fidgets for not following directions, using fidgets incorrectly, or not sitting still. Don’t misinterpret the fidget to be the cause of poor behavior, but lack of training and understanding the proper use of fidgets.
Most importantly, help children self-regulate and recognize when and if a particular fidget is helping him/her engage in the learning.

To help students learn how to self-regulate by using fidgets, ask questions such as:

How did having this fidget help you participate during carpet time?
Why did you choose to use this fidget to do your assignment today? Did it help you or distract you?
What fidget could you try next time that may help you stay focused?
I noticed that this fidget seemed to help you get your work done. How did it make you feel inside? Why do you think it helped you?

Fidgets are one of many sensory strategies that we use to support student success at school. Ask your occupational therapist for recommendations to meet the specific needs of your individual child or student. You may also be interested in learning about the importance of full recesses and seating options for sensory strategies to be used in combination with fidgets at school.

Every Minute of Every Recess for Every Student!

Classroom Seating Options for Students Who Struggle Sitting Still

Courtney Bills is a wife and mom of three awesome kids with their own individual sensory needs. She has taught in elementary classrooms for many years and is now a National Educational Consultant, with a focus on literacy instruction through C & B Reading, LLC. She works locally in Utah to help integrate an inclusion model for all students by providing necessary accommodations in the classroom for engagement and success of all learners.

*I am part of the Amazon Associates Program. If you choose to buy any of these products from Amazon, I’d love for you to purchase them through the links on my website to help support the work I do with Yums Theraplay! Thank you!

The Best Developmental Spaces for Your Baby (pssst… NOT a car seat)

A baby’s car seat is essential and one of the most important baby gear items you will purchase before your newborn arrives. The absolute best and safest place for a baby inside of a moving car is buckled into an appropriate car seat! However, outside of a moving car, a car seat is NOT the best place for a baby. Outside of the car, parents will want their baby in spaces and positions to foster their baby’s best development and a car seat is NOT one of those places. Hopefully, I can help spread understanding about the best spaces for your baby’s development and also spread understanding that the best place to leave your baby’s car seat is inside the car.

Car seats have been designed to be very convenient for parents to move and carry their baby for almost every activity except changing a diaper. You’ll see babies being carried in a car seat from their car into home, into the store, onto a shopping cart, into a restaurant, set up to the restaurant table, sitting in church, going for a walk that attaches to a stroller, sleeping at home… As a mom of three, I completely understand the importance of convenience on days when I am sleep-deprived and stressed to the max. (Those days happen too often!) But just like the convenience of feeding my older children fast food from the drive-thru each day, convenient options for parents are NOT always the best choice for your children.

VIDEO: See Tera talk about the best spaces for baby development with FOX 13 The Place here.

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links as a convenient way to find recommended products.

WHY NOT A CARSEAT (OR OTHER SEMI-RECLINED BABY GEAR)?

A baby’s first year of development is primarily about learning through her sensory system, integrating the sensations she receives from the world, and producing important motor movements with the information she has gathered from her sensory world. The sensations babies are processing include: sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, movement and muscle and joint input. As a baby begins to understand this sensory input, she begins to experiment with her own new body in response and in anticipation to these sensations. These responses may include calming and falling asleep when being swaddled, sung a lullaby and rocking back and forth in the arms of her sweet-smelling mama. Anticipation may include recognizing the face and smell of her mama who breastfeeds her or recognizing what a bottle looks like, showing exciting movements and opening her mouth in anticipation to suck her bottle, swallow her milk, fill her tummy and interact with her caregiver during her feeding. As a baby is exposed to the sensations of the world, she develops ways to move and navigate through her world, and as she moves more in her world, she learns more and more and in turn develops more and more ideas and skills, with the cycle going on and on…

Car seats, especially with a car seat cover (as cute as they are), significantly limit a baby’s ability to interact with his sensory world outside of the car seat. Sights are obstructed, sound is muffled, touch and smell are blocked, and movement, muscle and joint activation is limited when a baby is buckled into a car seat, therefore limiting a baby’s ability to learn and develop ideas and motor skills to navigate and understand his world.

Positioning and buckling a baby into a semi-reclined position restricts movement. If a baby spends too much time in this position, it can cause other developmental concerns, including flattening of a baby’s soft skull (plagiocephaly is the medical term) and muscle imbalances of the neck (torticollis is the medical term). Plagiocephaly or flattening of the skull may require a helmet to reshape your baby’s head. Torticollis or muscle imbalances of the neck can lead to even further developmental motor concerns for your baby if not addressed appropriately. Too much time in car seats, bouncy chairs, swings or other baby-holding gear with a semi-reclined sitting position can often cause and will always make both of these conditions worse. (Torticollis can develop despite good positioning habits, but good positioning habits are always an important part of a good treatment plan and prevention plan for plagiocephaly and torticollis.)

As an occupational therapist treating babies with developmental concerns, including torticollis, plagiocephaly, motor and sensory delays, I recommend that babies be in car seats, bouncy chairs, swings or other semi-reclined positioning baby gear no more than 20 minutes at a time and no longer than 2 hours a day, unless the baby is required to be buckled safely in a carseat for a longer car ride. I find that these are good recommendations for all babies to foster their best overall development.

WHERE ARE THE BEST SPACES FOR A BABY’S DEVELOPMENT?

The best spaces for a baby’s development is… (drumroll please…) BEING HELD IN YOUR ARMS or ON THE FLOOR or other flat surface! So simple, so inexpensive, but so important for your baby!

Hold your baby, snuggle your baby, rock your baby or recruit happy helpers to do this when your arms need to be doing something else. Don’t underestimate the importance of holding your baby! When my babies were little, I liked to pass hand sanitizer to any happy helper willing to hold my babies or at least wrap them in a blanket to avoid passing germs. Don’t be surprised if I happen to sit by you and your buckled baby and ask if I may hold him. (Yes, you can ask me to use hand sanitizer too.) When you are holding your baby, he is immersed in calming sensations similar to the womb from which he’s recently come.

Flat surfaces are best for your baby’s motor development. Lay your baby down on a blanket on the floor. Lay your baby on her flat crib mattress or in the flat surface of a playard (also called pack ‘n play or play pen). Lay your baby in a stroller that lays down flat. Allow your baby to lie on her back, on her side and yes, her tummy for essential tummy time to foster good motor development. (Remember when putting your baby down to sleep, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends lying her on her back. Your baby’s supervised awake time is best for tummy time. Click to see the AAP Safe Sleep Recommendations.) Your baby can look around, focus on your face to smile at you, listen to the sounds around her, find her hands to suck on them, move her head from side to side, kick her legs back and forth, practice picking her head up… As a baby gets older and her motor skills develop, the floor is still the best place, but movement will include pushing up onto her hands while on her tummy, rolling over, sitting up, crawling and learning to walk. She can’t build strong foundations to learn or practice these motor skills well while buckled into a car seat or other baby-holding gear.

WHAT BABY GEAR WILL FOSTER MY BABY’S BEST DEVELOPMENT?

Going for a walk? Going to the store? Or even going to a restaurant? Use a baby wrap or baby carrier that allows your arms to be free, but still gives the sensory experiences of being held in your arms. Strollers that can lay down to a flat surface are best for your baby until he has stable head and trunk control and can sit up in a buckled stroller seat. While lying flat in a stroller, your baby can still move freely and will not be positioned to cause developmental concerns, such as plagiocephaly (head flattening) and torticollis (neck muscle imbalance).

If you are concerned about putting your baby on the floor, use a playard with a flat surface. (Some playards come with “napping” attachments that are in a semi-reclined position. Don’t use these.) Some playards come with a bassinet option that is a raised flat surface. These are great sleeping and playing options for newborns that can’t sit up and reach over the edge. When your child is able sit or stand, you will want to remove the bassinet option and place her on the bottom surface. Flat surfaces for sleeping and playing are always best for the motor development of your baby.

Below are some examples of baby gear (Amazon affiliate links) with options to position your baby and foster the best developmental opportunities so can you leave your baby’s car seat in the car and put away your semi-reclined baby holding gear.

BABY CARRIERS:

If you would like some guidance in choosing a baby carrier, click on this article, “The Basics of Babywearing” by Jessica Quigley, a Certified Babywearing Consultant in Utah. This will direct you to Jessica’s babywearing website, carrylittlehearts.com, where you can find a wealth of information on babywearing and Jessica’s contact info.

Boba Wrap

Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier Original

Moby Wrap Baby Carrier

Baby K’Tan Original Baby Carrier

Onya Baby Infant to Toddler Bundle – Outback Carrier

LILLEbaby Complete All Season Six-Position 360 Ergonomic Baby & Child Carrier

Ergobaby 360 All Carry Positions Award-Winning Cool Mesh Ergonomic Baby Carrier

Tula Ergonomic Carrier with Tula Infant Insert (sold separately)

STROLLERS WITH A FLAT RECLINE AND/OR FLAT BASSINET ATTACHMENT:

Some travel system strollers with car seats included have great full recline or bassinet options. But remember that you will want to use these full recline/bassinet features, not the “snap ‘n go” feature of using a car seat in the stroller.

Graco Aire3 Click Connect Stroller

Graco DuoGlide Click Connect Double Stroller (The rear seat reclines fully, even though it is not pictured.)

Graco Modes Stroller

Evenflo Sibby Stroller (Although this picture shows the car seat clicked into the stroller, I recommend using the stroller in the full recline position without the car seat.)

Joovy Scooter X2 Double Stroller (Both seats recline to “near-napping” position, even though the reclined position is not pictured.)

Baby Jogger City Mini Stroller with optional Bassinet Kit (sold separately)

Evenflo Pivot Stroller

Chico Urban Stroller

UPPAbaby VISTA Stroller with Bassinet

PLAYARDS:

Graco Pack ‘n Play Playard On the Go

Evenflo Arden Playard

Joovy New Room2 Portable Playard

Lotus Travel Crib and Portable Playard

4Moms Breeze Playard

Creative Ways for Occupational Therapists to Collaborate with Other OTs

I can’t wait to share this new, awesome resource for occupational therapists that Colleen Beck, from The OT Toolbox has put together! Colleen has generously offered to be my guest blogger and write about this new OT resource below:

As clinicians, occupational therapists strive to ensure best practice strategies while using the most recent evidence-backed information in clinical practice. It can be a challenge however, to enhance professional development. There are many reasons for this difficulty, including time, effort, energy, accessibility, and cost. When OTs struggle to advance as clinicians through traditional means, collaborating with other OT professionals can be a tool for advancing as a clinician.

Below you will find creative ways for occupational therapist practitioners to enhance professional development through collaboration with other Occupational Therapist professionals.

CREATIVE WAYS FOR OCCUPATIONAL THERAPISTS TO COLLABORATE WITH OTHER OTs

Facebook Groups- Connecting with other therapists can be as easy as logging on to your favorite social media platform. Social media communities like Facebook groups are a popular type of networking area. While online groups are an easy way to network with OTs from all over the world, there are challenges to this type of collaboration strategy. Questions that are asked of one another, may not be answered in a timely manner. Additionally, it can be a challenge to weed through all of the groups and social interactions happening on a platform whose entire intent is to promote “social interaction”. For many therapists, interacting on a social network may not be acceptable on-the-job activity.
Building groups on the job- Occasionally therapists are able to building and participate in groups on the job. A small group of therapists who meet for a weekly coffee meeting or lunch-time roundtable session can be a useful tool in enhancing professional development. When a group of coworkers meet for personal goal discussion, collaboration works as a team building strategy, too. There are downsides to this strategy, however: Many times, a therapist is the only clinician working in a setting. It can be struggle to find access to on-the-job mentor opportunities in some situations.
Twitter Parties- There are several occupational therapy Twitter parties that occur on a regular basis using hashtags. The scheduled meet-ups occur based on a hashtag that is used each week. Many times, therapy twitter parties have a set topic and invite therapists to interact with set questions. Collaborating and interacting with OTs from all over the world is possible in these parties. There are downsides to using Twitter parties as a means for collaboration and networking. Comments can move very quickly on Twitter. Questions can be left unanswered and potential connections get lost in the thread. Additionally, the limited number of characters that can be used in a response can interfere with communication in some cases.
Local OT Associations- Therapists may have access to local occupational therapy associations as a source for professional development through continuing education. When participating in local conferences, therapists have the potential to meet and network with other local OTs. However many therapists are limited geographically or are unable to access resources offered by local occupational therapy associations. Additionally, conferences and memberships have a cost associated with participation that can limit some professionals.
AOTA Website- Clinical resources and online forums can be found on membership sites like AOTA. Participation in a membership site such as a AOTA’s allows for therapists to receive and be a part of small group forums dedicated to specific areas. However the cost could be an issue for many therapists. There are other challenges that interfere with membership sites as a source for connection and collaboration. It takes time to find and connect with other therapists who are interested in a collaboration connection. A one-stop-shop for locating information would be a valuable resource for clinicians interested in collaboration with others in the profession.

The challenges related to the collaboration of occupational therapy professionals is why The OT Toolbox Community was developed as a professional development resource for OTs and OTAs.

The OT Toolbox Community is a free resource for occupational therapy practitioners who struggle to find valuable resources in a timely and efficient manner. Based from The OT Toolbox website, The OT Toolbox Community promotes clinicians as a valuable “tool” for clients. By connecting and collaborating with other therapists, it is possible to exponentially enhance and promote the profession.

Seeking out and have answers to clinical questions can be a huge limit when it comes to time, energy, cost, and other issues.

The OT Toolbox Community provides a resource for therapist to connect with one another and collaborate on clinical questions. OTs and OTAs have the opportunity to ask questions related to specific their needs. Therapist can draw on clinical expertise to respond and answer other clinician’s questions. Imagine if many therapists joined together in sharing years of clinical expertise and resources and put them into one tool kit. The OT Toolbox Community provides a one-stop location for navigating all of the information out there. It’s a place to access research. It’s a place to find best practice sources. It’s a place to promote collaborate, network, and mentor with one another as therapists.

The OT Toolbox Community is looking for you. Join hundreds of other occupational therapy professionals who have joined the community and are sharing questions, answers, resources, and valuable sources of clinical information.

A few facts about The OT Toolbox Community:

Members are able to upload links to valuable resources that they have located online. These can be shared with other members and searched for by category. Check out the Resource Center and add one of your own.
Members are able to ask questions and answer questions. These are sorted by category to enable search queries in order to locate best practice answers in a timely manner. Stop over to the Question Forum and see if there is one that you can answer given your clinical expertise.
Members can upload their own documents and files to share with other therapists. This is a huge asset for data collection screenings and other sources of information for therapists.
Members can list job opportunities in the Job Area. Have a position open in your facility? Reach out to our large community of occupational therapy professionals and fill your positions fast!
Have an activity that you love using in treatment sessions? Snap a picture with your phone and share it as a Blog Post. It doesn’t have to be a fancy blog post…just share your idea with the community members. Members can enhance the profession by sharing practice strategies that work!
In The OT Toolbox Community, all links, resources, questions, comments, and blog posts can be shared anonymously if you like!

Stop by and join The OT Toolbox Community! It’s a thriving source of information for occupational therapist practitioners.

Colleen Beck has been an Occupational Therapist since 2000, but is currently a stay-at-home mom to four sweet kids. She blogs about ideas and tools for therapists, parents and teachers at The OT Toolbox.

Anxiety Success Story: Jackson The Weatherman

In the spring and fall of 2016, northern Utah experienced two severe windstorms, including a few areas of tornados. The winds were scary and destructive, destroying big, strong trees, trampolines, roofs, and full houses.

Jackson was a 3rd grade student during the first windstorm and a new 4th grader for the second. He experienced the scary reality of these windstorms firsthand and couldn’t forget the fear. Jackson who also has Autism and has a tendency to become obsessed and anxious with certain topics, began to talk and worry nonstop about the weather and if the next windstorm was on its way. He was scared to leave the house and so worried about the weather that he couldn’t think about anything else. One day, he even called 911 to come to his house without his parents’ knowledge, in hopes that a police officer should be able change the bad weather.

His good parents did all they could to calm his fears and anxieties with logic, reassurance, love, prayers and special blessings, but his worries and obsession continued. In 4th grade, his fears intensified, especially as his teacher began the 4th grade weather unit. His parents took him to a counselor who helped and gave his parents ideas, such as limiting the amount of times they could look up the weather or talk about the weather as he earned rewards for discussing the weather less and less. In the fall of his 4th grade year, Jackson’s parents, teachers and principal brainstormed an idea. Jackson could be the school weatherman. He could research and give a weather forecast on the announcements each day for the entire school.

So often, parents, teachers and other adults immediately try to calm children’s fears and anxieties with statements such as, “Don’t worry.” Our focus is on telling a child with anxiety what NOT to do. But oftentimes, adults forget to tell or find something that an anxious child CAN do with their anxious energy. Jackson’s story is a perfect example of empowering an anxious child with what he CAN do!

Jackson thrived as the school weatherman! He took his new job seriously and did a fabulous job! Teachers and students throughout the school looked forward to his daily weather report on the announcements. His parents were relieved that this successful partnership with his school, along with the other strategies they had continued, had eased his anxiety about the weather at home and at school.

In December 2016, after a couple months of being the school weatherman, Jackson came up with an idea all on his own. He decided he should write a letter to share with other schools about the importance of having a school weatherman. He wrote the letter and sent it to all the elementary schools in his school district. He felt so successful with his school weatherman job that he wanted to others to feel the same success! Below are some excerpts of his letter:

“Hi there, school principal, I’m a fourth grader [and] I’m the school’s weatherman. Do you have a weatherman too? If you don’t, you should get one. I’m going to tell you what you should do if you get your school’s weatherman (if you want to, that is)… If any of the kids… want to, they can tell the teacher… You might need someone who knows a lot about clouds and what the weather is going to be today… So, in the morning, have your weatherman ready to tell the weather for the day. Here’s the things he or she need to say. How it’s going to be over the next few hours, how it’s going to be tomorrow, and the high and the low. Well, there’s the stuff you need. I really hope you get one, because since I’m my school’s weatherman, I wanted other schools to have one too… P.S. I became the weatherman because I wanted to and it’s not a punishment.”After Jackson’s mom endearlingly shared his letter on Instagram to her friends, Utah’s KSL TV station ended up seeing it. KSL’s weatherman, Grant Weyman, highlighted Jackson in a their “High Five” segment. They surprised Jackson with a visit to his school and then invited him to be an honorary weatherman on KSL. You can see their visit to Jackson’s school here.

Funny side note that Jackson’s mom shared with me… Jackson really hates the sound of his own voice on camera. He loves watching the KSL videos, but he has never watched the videos with any sound.

Jackson is pretty proud of his weatherman super star status. And what is even better is that he goes about his days at home, school and in the community with calm confidence in any weather. What a great success story about empowering an anxious child with something they CAN do! Nice work Jackson and all his supporters! I hope this success story might help another child’s parents, teachers and other supporters to brainstorm what their anxious child CAN do!

How to be a Friend to Someone with Autism

Happy Autism Awareness month and Happy Occupational Therapy month this April! What better way to celebrate than by sharing some tips on how to be a friend to someone with Autism from an OT!

Most likely, you know someone with Autism. Most likely, you want to be kind and friendly with them, but are not quite sure how to interact and go about building a friendship. They may act differently from you, but they share a similar desire to have a friend with whom they feel safe. They and their families appreciate when someone will take the time to really get to know them and build a friendship. Over many years, I’ve been able to enjoy many friendships with people who have Autism. My Autistic friends make me smile! I’m grateful for the many lessons they’ve taught me and the memorable moments we’ve shared.

VIDEO: See Tera talk about how to be a friend to someone with Autism with FOX 13 The Place here.

CHARACTERISTICS OF AUTISM

When interacting with someone with Autism, it’s important to recognize the basic defining characteristics of Autism. As you’ll notice, these defining characteristics listed below make social interactions especially difficult for them. Recognize that all these characteristics may make the Autistic person uneasy with a new person initiating social interaction, but does not mean people with Autism do not want friends!

Social Skill Difficulties
Communication Difficulties
Repetitive Behaviors, Routines and Isolated Interests
Sensory Processing Difficulties

“THE SPECTRUM”

“Autism Spectrum Disorder” is the official name of the Autism diagnosis. “Spectrum” is used to define a very wide variety of behaviors that encompasses the above characteristics. Each person with Autism will exhibit these characteristics very differently. Each person with Autism is unique and building a friendship with them will mean you must get to know each individually. Below are some clusters of behavior you may see from people on the Autism Spectrum.

Social Skill Difficulties:

May not make eye contact; may be uncomfortable being close in proximity to new people; may find different ways to get your attention, such as throwing objects.
May not recognize social cues as to when to stop talking; may not recognize how to enter a group to socialize; may have difficulty learning to share with others.

Communication Difficulties:

May not speak, but understands many words or phrases; may only repeat words or phrases; may use alternative ways to communicate, such as pictures or hand gestures.
May speak and understand well, but very literally; may not communicate tactfully; may talk excessively.

Repetitive Behaviors, Routines and Isolated Interests:

May use movements, such as flapping hands or rocking back and forth, when excited or nervous; may enjoy playing with the same objects or doing the same activities over and over, such as lining up cars or watching fans spin; may get nervous and upset when going to new places, getting new shoes, having furniture moved out of their familiar spot or having new people in their safe environments at home or school.
May want to talk about the same topic in detail all the time, such as Minecraft, Pokemon or dinosaurs; may not recognize subtle social cues that you are ready to change subjects or stop talking; may get stressed or not function well through seemingly small changes, such as a new haircut, long holiday weekends or an assembly that changes the school schedule.

Sensory Processing Difficulties:

May be over-sensitive to normal amounts of sensory input around us: such as lights seeming to be too bright; noises seeming to be too loud and needing to cover his/her ears; being startled and seeming to over-react to accidental bumps or a pat on the back; refusing to touch or wear certain textures; being bothered or distracted by smells; being unable to tolerate tasting a variety of foods; being scared of movement activities, such as swinging.
May be under-sensitive to normal amounts of sensory input around us: intensely staring or watching others or objects, such as spinning fans or wheels; frequently humming or making his/her own noises; craving hugs, always fidgeting or seeking out certain textures to touch; smelling people and objects; licking, mouthing and chewing on many different objects, not just food; craving movement, such as spinning, jumping and rocking.

HELP THEM FEEL SAFE

When you approach someone with Autism, address them by name in a pleasant, non-intrusive way. Be calm, avoid light touches and loud entrances so you don’t startle them until you become familiar with their sensory processing preferences. Be sure to be predictable or tell them what you’re doing so they know what to expect.

Watch and observe to see if they have a toy, a book or maybe a shirt that they may have an interest in. How can you find a way to interact over something that feels safe or enjoyable to them? With people who speak, you can discuss the subject, listen and ask questions and share their interest. With people who don’t speak, how can you enjoy an activity together? Maybe you can hand them cars from a pile as they line them up, careful not to interfere in their routine. Maybe you can both hit balloons up into the air together.

LET THEM SET THE PACE

Some people with Autism may need to take your interaction slower than you’re used to. They may not be ready to look at you, respond to you or answer your questions. These behaviors don’t mean they’re not listening. You can tell them, “That’s ok. We can talk more in a while. I can wait.” Try again later. It may be that you have to do this over several encounters until they are comfortable with you. They might be willing to give high fives or fist bumps before they are ready to talk.

Don’t give up! And don’t ignore them! Most people with Autism understand more than you realize and feel the effects of being ignored. Be patient and keep trying to be friends with them.

Some Autistic people will be overly excited and want all your attention. When you’re first making friends with them, share that excitement and give them attention. After your friendship is built and you learn to trust each other, you can start to change the pace slowly to also meet your needs by talking frankly, but politely. “Hey, how about you spend a few more minutes talking about Minecraft and then I can tell you about the new things I did yesterday?!”

DON’T BE OFFENDED BY THEIR BEHAVIOR AND COMMUNICATION

Don’t assume that people with Autism are being rude, disrespectful or selfish as they interact with you or others. If you find yourself thinking that their behavior or communication is any of these things, remember they inherently process information and think differently than you, especially social communication. Quickly forgive any offense and be patient as they learn. Just as you are learning how to interact with them, they are learning how to interact with you.

Be sure to clearly tell them what behaviors you appreciate in your friendship, such as, “I like when you smile at me when you see me! It makes me feel like we are friends!” or “Thank you for sharing your toys with me! I have fun playing with you!”

POLITELY ASK SINCERE QUESTIONS

If you ever have questions about how to be a friend to someone with Autism, be sure to ask parents, teachers or friends who know him/her well. They will have insight into their interests, comforts and unique ways of socializing and communicating with others. Many parents and teachers are very happy to help others willing to take the time to understand and get to know their child/student.

If you are in a teaching capacity for someone with Autism, recognize that maintaining a safe and trusting relationship with these principles will create a crucial foundation before you can help them stretch outside their comfort zone.

Enjoy the journey of friendship with your unique friends with Autism!

“The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.” –Henry David Thoreau